what will happen when a victim of child abuse reads this book thinking it's gonna be about love and romance and then are slapped in the face with triggers- flashing them back to the abuse they were tortured with- children being raped by adults. and i don't know who would give this kind of story awards and i don't know what kind of publisher/author would put this story out, w/o providing warnings of the content. and that the author blends these adults raping children while the main character fantasizes and sexualizes about wanting it to happen to him and then putting himself in a situation where he gets raped for real- and then goes back to the rapist afterwards to have sex with him again_ it's just so fukked up and disturbing and wrong.
and the main character fantasizes about being raped and humiliated for sexual pleasure while these real rapes are going on. _first and most important- this book needs to have warnings in the description- that a lot of this book involves RAPE, CHILD ABUSE AND RAPING CHILDREN. The publisher or author is selling this story claiming it's about 'love as a state of grace'. It was fairly thought provoking although it spent more time on the homophobia soapbox than the child rape soapbox. But I found it engaging and liked the MC more at the end. We all deal with then aftermath of sexual assault in our own way, and convincing oneself that it was not rape is fairly common). And it didn't address a glaring issue with unsafe sex and adultery, nor did it really address how the MC's own rape fit in with his worldview (I think we were supposed to believe it was "different" from what happened to the kids, but I don't think it was. I did think it sank a bit into gratuitous scenes though. I do not tolerate "good rape" scenes well, but this book didn't push my buttons. Through parts of the book, he is not clear on the realities of rape, but I always had the sense that the author was going somewhere with it. He gets over hating himself when he is involved in *stopping* a child sex/pornography ring and realizes that fantasies are just that, and that rape is an entirely different thing. One thing to point out about the other review- the narrator is a disturbed and not always likeable young man who has rape fantasies and hates himself for them.
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